It Ain't Easy

July 19th 2009

The apostles 14 gathered together with Jesus and reported all they had done and taught.3115 He said to them, "Come away by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while." People were coming and going in great numbers, and they had no opportunity even to eat.32So they went off in the boat by themselves to a deserted place.33People saw them leaving and many came to know about it. They hastened there on foot from all the towns and arrived at the place before them.34When he disembarked and saw the vast crowd, his heart was moved with pity for them, for they were like sheep without a shepherd; and he began to teach them many things.

In the homily at Mass this weekend, the priest was speaking on last week's gospel about Jesus sending his apostles out and Jesus sending us out. At one point he said, "It's not easy." A simple statement but it really struck me that it's a statement we need to pay more attention to.

Most of you have probably seen the big red push buttons at Staples' office supplies outlets. You push the button and a voice says, "That was easy." North America is obsessed with making life easy. From technology to lifestyle to financial strategies we are bombarded by the idea that if we're successful, things will get easy. And let's not forget spirituality. There are so many voices out there, new age and otherwise, that promise that if you follow their methods, theologies and ideologies, your life will become easy and your connection with God will be effortless. How many of us have a subconscious expectation that if we are following God's will everything should be easy and peaceful? It is extremely difficult in this society to not have those expectations.

The disciples had just come back from ministering to God's people. They were excited...and drained. They had just spent a period of time being totally dependent on the Father for everything, not only for their own needs but also for the needs of everyone around them. This was their first experience of entering into ministry without Jesus around to reassure them and tell them what to do. It was their first experience of having hands and hearts reaching out and tugging at them, constantly asking for help and relief. You know what? Putting your complete trust in God can be exhausting. It can be a constant struggle to not allow your fears, uncertainties and need for personal space to overwhelm you. It can get somewhat easier as time goes by and you gain experience in God's provision for you and your ministry but it is human nature to be in control and to be tense and anxious if we have to depend on something or someone else. Not being in full control will always be a struggle for us while we're on this earth.

Jesus knew how tired his disciples were. He knew it wasn't only physical exhaustion they suffered from but mental, emotional and spiritual exhaustion as well and he wanted to give them time to recharge the batteries. The demands of the people were so strong they didn't even have time to eat and it's not God's will that anyone become burnt out in his service. But when they arrived at the place Jesus had chosen for them to take some time off they were met by more crowds. At least the disciples saw crowds. What Jesus saw were individuals; he saw people in pain, people grieving, people hungry for truth that didn't burden them with impossible demands, people struggling to be good, people who were confused, people who wanted nothing more than to be told, "You are the Father's Beloved." He knew his disciples were needy but they were not as needy as the crowds facing them. He was filled with compassion. Jesus was, and still is, unable to turn away from the poor, the lost or the wounded.

This was not easy on the disciples. Their hearts must have sunk within them. They may have asked themselves and each other, "Haven't we done enough? We gave all we had to give. Isn't that enough?" It doesn't say so in scripture but I'm willing to bet that the disciples had to learn one more lesson and Jesus knew it. We can never give enough and it isn't easy. I'm also willing to bet that the disciples, as they moved among the crowds of people, discovered they did have more to give. It didn't come from themselves or from their own abundance of energy and faith. It came out of their own poverty.

It may have been their most powerful hour up to that point.

Mothers would have a hard time thinking of themselves as apostles (ones who are sent) and stay at home mothers would have an especially difficult time with this concept. It's hard to feel sent when you rarely get out of the house but the truth is, you have definitely been sent. The moment you were married and children were still only a desire in your heart you were experiencing God sending you. He sent you into the world with your spouse to establish a home church - in the wilderness no less. Often, the demands of children can drain you mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically and still you have to go on feeding and ministering to the crowd. Interesting how even just one small child can feel like a crowd sometimes.

If you are single or married with no children or a mother needing to work to help support the family and you are going out to work each day often at jobs that don't inspire with co-workers who are draining and bosses who are control fiends - you have been sent. God doesn't necessarily expect you to proselytize in the work place or lay hands on the irritating boss and command the evil spirit to leave, but he sends us all into the wilderness of the world to create "white space". In page layout in magazines and on the web etc. white space is an area on the page where there is nothing. The importance of white space is to give the eye a place to rest. Any reader will be overwhelmed by too much information, too many words and too many graphics and fail to discern the message. We Christians need to offer an incredibly busy and chaotic world white space. People are drawn to other people who are calm and grounded, ones who are not seeking to dominate everything and everybody. They are drawn to kindness, integrity, quiet humor and balanced wisdom. If the people you work with and hang out with know you are a Christian, they will be "reading you" all the time. Don't offer them a busy chaotic page to read - offer them white space, a place where their hearts can find rest. Or, if you are more environmentally inclined, offer them "green space". Same thing.

It's not easy. I don't think there's anything you can do to make it really easy. That understanding in itself can be a bit of a relief because we can feel guilty and anxious when the demands on us are overwhelming. We can feel inadequate and we can feel like we must be the only followers of Jesus who are finding things so difficult. A friend of mine told me about sitting at a table with several women at coffee time after Mass and they were talking generally about what a struggle it can be to follow Jesus. Someone asked, "Does it ever get any easier?" Down the table sat an 80+ year old woman who is known to have a peaceful, deep and wonderful spirituality. She leaned over and in her gentle, happy voice said, "No, it doesn't."

And it doesn't seem to bother her at all.
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