Kingdom Hatred

Now large crowds were traveling with him; and he turned and said to them, ‘Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not carry the cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not first sit down and estimate the cost, to see whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it will begin to ridicule him, saying, “This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.” Or what king, going out to wage war against another king, will not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to oppose the one who comes against him with twenty thousand? If he cannot, then, while the other is still far away, he sends a delegation and asks for the terms of peace. So therefore, none of you can become my disciple if you do not give up all your possessions.

A reflection I wrote before I began posting these reflections online was in relation to another Gospel passage where Jesus also uses the jarring word, “hate”. (John 12.25) In this day and age where hate can be a legal crime and we are so aware of the terrible consequences of hate in society and in our personal lives, Jesus encouraging us to hate our fathers and mothers, husbands and children, brothers and sisters, feels terribly harsh and not like Jesus at all. It feels wrong and it is truly difficult to know how to respond to it.

Knowing that the modern English translations of some words in the bible end up to be not exactly true to the original meaning and intention of the speaker, especially if the speaker was of a completely different nation and culture, I decided to see if I could find the original Aramaic word for “hate” and see if our modern definitions square up with what Jesus was really saying. What I discovered was that the Aramaic word for ‘hate’ is ‘Sna’.

Oddly enough, I don’t actually speak Aramaic – so I have no clue as to the pronunciation of the word ‘sna’ (snay? snaw?) but what I discovered about this word is that it has five meanings and the only meaning that made any sense at all in relation to what Jesus was saying in this Gospel was the definition, “to put to one side”. Jesus is not urging us to despise the people who are closest to us. In the context of this whole Gospel passage, Jesus is speaking about priorities and an understanding that if we choose to follow him, it’s not a choice that allows for a half-hearted commitment to be complied with only if it’s convenient or if it doesn’t cost too much. It’s also a choice that calls for much clarity and lightness of being. By ‘lightness of being’, I mean not being so burdened with possessions that it’s impossible to move when the Spirit says move.

In the last verse, Jesus says, “So therefore, none of you can become my disciple if you do not give up all your possessions.” Give up. Sna. Set to one side. I love the image of setting something to one side because it feels like gentle detachment. It’s not an act of loathing, and it’s not throwing something in the garbage; it is simply an act of saying, “Excuse me. You’re in my way and I can’t see Jesus. Could you just move to the side a little?” Either it's a matter of moving someone or something off to the side or else moving ourselves into a position so we can keep the Shepherd in sight. It’s detaching from the possessions we have, human or otherwise, in order to behold Jesus more clearly. Detaching is an ongoing exercise of simply keeping our sight lines clear.

The definition of what we possess and hang onto in a way that blocks our view of Jesus is going to be different for each one of us and a continual discernment of what these things are is important to a vibrant spiritual life. This discernment, by the way, will take the rest of your life. Detachment is a journey, not a one-time act and as you grow in the spiritual life, you will find you may detach from one thing and suddenly find yourself too attached to something else. We are a bit like possession magnets.

For some, the vision blocker will be material possessions that require constant maintenance and updating. Others might not be so concerned about things but find that they have gradually taken possession of children, partners or friends in such an unhealthy way that peace and trust in God’s provision and saving power is lost.

Others are deeply possessive of their dogmas, rules and regulations. And we all possess strong opinions on certain issues and it’s a matter of pride that we won’t give an inch, not one inch, even when compassion is called for, not righteousness. Many are very attached to their roles, ministries and territories within a parish community and aren’t aware of the subtle moment when defending their territory has become more important than what they were originally called to do. Some people are possessive of their fears or their disappointments and frustrations, finding it difficult to let them go or forgive.

Everyone possesses dreams and desires – many of them worthy and good until they make the present moment lose its good taste. When we are trying to control everything in our lives, when we have plans, desires, dreams and expectations and when we feel it is up to us to make everything fit into our visions, we will find that eventually we are bogged down, slogging along in a desert without making any headway. Even when the plans and desires seem to be led by God, our innate tendency is to try to make it all happen the way we think God wants it to happen. The responsibility of creating our own lives is a very heavy possession, one that obscures the vision of Jesus. How can you follow him when you can’t even see him?

In other words, there is nothing in this life that cannot become a possession that has the potential to get in the way of beholding Jesus. Possessions complicate life and obscure the simplicity of Love.

What Jesus knew when he told us to ‘sna’ our possessions was that once we lose sight of him and lose a sense of our relationship to him, we become afraid. We experience guilt. We work harder, try harder, run harder in order to assuage that guilt. Our spiritual understanding becomes distorted and we forget who we are and more importantly, we forget who he really is. We forget the loveliness of his love. We spend more time with words of fear, complaint, discouragement and dissatisfaction than we do with words of trust, gratitude, praise and love.

“…none of you can become my disciple if you do not give up all your possessions.” That sounds like a strict and cold ultimatum. Try hearing it this way: “Beloved, if you are weighed down by all that you cling to and all that clings to you, it will be impossible for you to follow me because you won’t be able to see me and you will forget what I look like. Eventually you won’t be quite so eager to come close to my heart because you’ll be afraid of me, afraid of my love and afraid that letting go will cause you to bleed more than you can bear. When you’re burdened by possessions, the Evil One tells you I am to be feared, that you are not valuable, that you are unlovable and unlikable and that your life is a mess. When you cannot see my eyes, you will believe him. Yes, it costs much to follow me and to keep me close to you but it will cost far more to lose sight of me. If you cannot see my face and see the love pouring out of me for you, you have nothing at all and all your possessions are like dust in the hot, dry wind.”

The wondrous thing is he never goes ahead and leaves you alone to struggle alone with all you possess. He is there, patiently waiting to help you unload your burdens so that you can behold him and he can behold you, face to face in freedom and love. He wants you to detach simply because he is lonely for your love and because he knows that you will die without his.

There is no God like him.