Created Desire

John 6: 24-35

So when the crowd saw that neither Jesus nor his disciples were there, they themselves got into the boats and went to Capernaum looking for Jesus. When they found him on the other side of the lake, they said to him, ‘Rabbi, when did you come here?’ Jesus answered them, ‘Very truly, I tell you, you are looking for me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate your fill of the loaves. Do not work for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures for eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For it is on him that God the Father has set his seal.’ Then they said to him, ‘What must we do to perform the works of God?’ Jesus answered them, ‘This is the work of God, that you believe in him whom he has sent.’ So they said to him, ‘What sign are you going to give us then, so that we may see it and believe you? What work are you performing? Our ancestors ate the manna in the wilderness; as it is written, “He gave them bread from heaven to eat.” ’ Then Jesus said to them, ‘Very truly, I tell you, it was not Moses who gave you the bread from heaven, but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is that which comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.’ They said to him, ‘Sir, give us this bread always.’ Jesus said to them, ‘I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.

Have you ever noticed that children are never happy for very long with what they get? Even with something they have desired for a long time, they’re happy for a while but it doesn’t take long before they think something else will make them happier. This state of never being really satisfied begins before a child can even speak or reason well so we have to conclude something from it. It must be human nature to be dissatisfied. And if it’s human nature, then we adults are prone to the very same kind of innate dissatisfaction where we’re always looking for something better, something different, something that will fill the hole inside.

The first reading this Sunday is the one where the Israelites complain to Moses because there was no food to eat. When they were in Egypt they longed to be a free people but when they were free, they wished they were back in Egypt. God sent them manna and quail but it wasn’t long before the Israelites found more to complain about. They were more concerned about satisfying their physical desires than about having a relationship with God who provided miraculously for them time after time.

In the Gospel, the people follow Jesus and he tells them they are following only because he provided bread for them, not because they witnessed a sign that told them that a loving God was in their midst. They were seeking for more bread or more miracles not for more of a relationship with Jesus. They knew Jesus had something they were looking for but they weren’t sure what it was. He had put bread in their hands so they looked for more bread because they didn’t know what else they should be reaching out for.

Our response to this often is, “What obtuse, shallow and immature people,” but the truth is, we all live in a state of restless dissatisfaction and we are always filled with a desire to reach out for something more than what we have. We know we want something so we look around and try to find what it is we’re missing and what we seem to be missing is what we perceive other people have that we don’t have and wish we did.  More time, more money, more recreation, better relationships, a more satisfying job, nicer possessions, more choices. It’s so hard to be completely satisfied and fulfilled by what we have right now. Why is this?

Because we were made that way.  We were created to be unsatisfied.

St. Augustine wrote, "You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you."  We are not so much shallow and immature as much as we live in complete unawareness of what it is we really want. Even when we are told it is Jesus we want and that he is the bread of life which satisfies all our longings, we don’t know how to receive Jesus in such a way that we can easily let go of all the desires we have that we think might make us happier and more contented. The people who were following Jesus and asking for more bread or more signs were confused as to what they really wanted and really needed. They had Jesus right in front of them and they still could not grasp him in the way their hungry inner beings yearned to.

We can go to church at least once a week and receive Jesus in the Eucharist. We can have our daily prayer time. We can belong to a bible study or a prayer group. We can offer our gifts to the church. We can do all the things required of us as practicing and believing Catholics and still be enveloped in a restlessness and a longing that cracks our peace. How can we receive this Bread of Life so that our thirst is truly slated and our deep inner hunger is satisfied?

In the Gospel, the people are trying to discover how to find this deep satisfaction. Jesus told them not to work for things that perish but for that which brings everlasting life. Then the people asked him, “O.K., what work can we do to ensure that we get this bread of eternal life?”   Please notice that Jesus does not give them a grocery list of things to do. He does not say, “Go to Mass, feed the poor, help the sick, pray daily, attend scripture study…”  He refuses to bring it down to a formula, a series of works that can be accomplished with no real connection to him as a person. He simply says, “The work of God is to believe in me.”   

That’s hard work! It is the hardest task you will ever undertake because it means opening up every pore of your life to the belief that Jesus is the Lord of you and of the universe in which you exist. It means opening up your spiritual pores every minute to the understanding that you exist because he loves you. It means recognizing that all your restlessness and all your desires come from one great desire: to know Jesus, to know his heart, his mind, his Spirit and his love and to know him intimately in the moment, every moment.

You may say, “I believe in Jesus” but here’s the cruncher: do you allow him to believe in you? You profess to love him. Do you allow him to love you? You desire to serve the Lord. Do you believe that he also wants to serve you?  If you are uncomfortable with the thought of Jesus serving you then you haven’t quite grasped the true nature of Jesus. We all tend to make our spirituality a one-way street where we’re the ones who make all the effort and make all the professions of belief and love but we don’t stop to listen to him profess his belief in us. Jesus has already fallen in love with each one of us individually. He stands ready, waiting and aching to be able to fall into your heart and begin to fill it up with all that you truly want.

Growing in capacity to receive Jesus and be fed by him is a life long process. As soon as you experience him filling a little hole in your heart, the hole gets bigger! Little by little, he expands your longing and your capacity. Continually desiring and believing in him is the lifelong work of God.

Pay attention to your dissatisfaction.  Do you know that the all the strong desires you have, the longings, the yearnings, the restlessness and aching for more, whether it’s spiritual or otherwise, are echoes of his immense and intense desire for you?

Boggles the heart, doesn’t it?