True Self and the Wounded Warrior. Part II

The following is the second part of a two part reflection for this week. If you have not yet read "True Self and the Wounded Warrior Part I", you can find it in the archives to your right.

 True Self is full of love, joy, peace, patience, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness and goodness. True Self is patient and kind; it is not envious, boastful, arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. True Self’s entire focus centers on whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, pleasing and commendable and if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, these are the things True Self thinks about. (A paraphrased composite of Galatians 5:22, 1 Corinthians 13:4+ and Philippians 4:8)

The above is a partial description of the True Self who dwells within you, apart, separate and undefiled by controlling Wounded Warrior. It is the part of you that was baptized in Christ, buried and resurrected with Christ, clothed in Christ and filled with the gift of Christ’s Holy Spirit. It is the Pearl of Great Price, the Lost Coin and the Treasure in the Field. It is worth everything you have to believe in it and find it because it shares in the very nature of Christ.

In contrast, the Wounded Warrior, which endeavors to keep everything under its own control, is composed of limited love, despondencies, anxieties, impatience, selfishness, controlling tendencies, anger and sometimes hurtful actions and reactions. It has the capacity to be cutting instead of kind, is a little envious when others succeed where it has not and protects itself from its own perceived diminishment by pulling others down publicly or privately. It often insists its way is the only way and when it doesn’t get its own way it becomes irritated, angry, resentful and sometimes very anxious. There are times when it is rejoices to see all that’s wrong and once it has perceived something wrong, it doesn’t try very hard to find truth, goodness or the commendable and excellent. It’s pretty happy to pay attention to just the shortcomings.

The Wounded Warrior will bear things for a short while but then it becomes frustrated. It tries so hard to believe in the power of Christ but its eyes are always being pulled over to the negative, the bad, the ugly and the offensive. Its hope is always being eroded by thoughts of the past and future. Staying in the Present moment feels like being out of control. Wounded Warrior feels it has more control if it is rehashing the past and casting fishing lines into the future.

Wounded Warrior focuses more naturally on what it thinks is false, dishonorable, untrue and unjust, especially if it perceives these things in other individuals, groups or situations. It thrives on the ‘us against them’ mentality because it feels better when it thinks it’s right.

In spite of all its self-protective mechanisms, it has been terribly wounded by life, others, and itself. These wounds are very real and often deep and that’s why the Warrior has so many defense mechanisms. It is trying to protect the wounds. When it feels challenged or diminished by anything or anyone it fights desperately to keep itself from further diminishment and pain. The Warrior is so convinced it is totally right in whatever it perceives that it refuses to let go because that feels like further diminishment and further loss of control.

“Now as they went on their way, he entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, ‘Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.’ But the Lord answered her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.’” (Luke 10: 38-42)

Wounded Warrior is a Martha. True Self is a Mary. Martha had Jesus right there with her – she welcomed him in - and it was her intention to serve him but in her need to do all the right things and have everything go the way she thought it all needed to go, she could not be present to who he really was. Instead, all she could see was what she thought was her duty and when it didn’t seem that her agenda was rolling along smoothly, she projected her resentment onto her sister and blamed her. She probably secretly resented Jesus for seemingly not seeing that she was struggling and burdened.

Martha was very similar to most of us in that she treated Jesus as an honored guest and felt her performance, as a servant, was a reflection of her value and worth. Mary simply saw Jesus as a Beloved, someone she wanted to be close to and spend time with. She wanted to soak in his whole nature and drink in his words. While Martha was finding her identity in traditional roles and in her own performance, Mary was finding her fulfillment at the feet of Jesus. It’s a distinction we must pay attention to when building an awareness of the Wounded Warrior identity.

Note that Jesus did not attempt to soothe and heal Martha in her role of being a Wounded Warrior. Instead he invited her to leave that place and come to the same place Mary was sitting. 

I have given you relatively in-depth (but still partial) descriptions of the characteristics of True Self and of the Wounded Warrior because next week I am going to describe to you a ‘way’ to begin to let the Warrior rest and allow True Self to become more and more operative in your life. In this Way, awareness and recognition is crucial. 

So, for the next while, see if you can be aware of when the Wounded Warrior is rising up in self-protective mode. That’s all – just try to recognize it. Don’t try to deal with it or castigate yourself when you see it. Don’t ridicule it or judge it. This is very important! Just recognize it and say, “There is my Wounded Warrior in action.” If you want, you can endeavor to recognize what it is trying to protect but that’s all. This is simply an exercise of recognition and awareness, not a self-recrimination exercise. When self-condemnation kicks in, that’s actually the Wounded Warrior taking over and saying, “I’ve got to get this under control.” It doesn’t work. Never has. Never will. Try to be aware that the Warrior is not who you really are and is not who God sees.

This is not an exercise of ignoring your sins and failures or saying they are not real. This is a journey of discovering their source as well as discovering the real source of spiritual life and power within you.

“The flesh is useless. It is the Spirit that gives life.”  

We’ve believed in the authority of the Wounded Warrior for far too long.

It’s time for a change of administration.