Then Jesus told them a parable about their need to pray always and not to lose heart. He said, ‘In a certain city there was a judge who neither feared God nor had respect for people. In that city, there was a widow who kept coming to him and saying, “Grant me justice against my opponent.” For a while he refused; but later he said to himself, “Though I have no fear of God and no respect for anyone, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will grant her justice, so that she may not wear me out by continually coming.” ’ And the Lord said, ‘Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God grant justice to his chosen ones who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long in helping them? I tell you, he will quickly grant justice to them. And yet, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?’
A few years ago, Fr. William Hann, parish priest of St. Joseph the Worker in Victoria spoke about Habakkuk crying out to God and challenging God because God just didn’t seem to be listening to his pleas and his prayers. Fr. William, who had been going through some extremely difficult and painful circumstances, had this to say:
“The beauty of the prophet Habakkuk is that he dares to give voice to his fear and frustration and that he dares to put it on God’s desk. I wonder sometimes whether we dare to be as honest with God as that prophet is. The suggestion is often made that you don’t speak to God that way.
I would like to suggest that in a life of faith there is room for speaking to God in the way Habakkuk does. God can handle our anger and our emotional outbursts when we must come to terms with the shattering of our dreams or betrayal in any of its ugly forms.
These past months I know I have cried out to God and asked him for answers, for an explanation, to ask him for something to hold on to, for fear that I might otherwise go under.” (Quoted with permission.)
When I read that, I thanked God for a priest who’s not only transparent about his own struggles but also is one who knows the immense value of wrestling with God.
This week’s gospel is about praying without ceasing but it is also about spiritual honesty. In the lectionary's translation of this gospel passage, the judge says, “I will grant her justice, so that she may not wear me out by continually coming.” An alternate translation to that is, “…so that she will not slap me in the face.” That widow must have been displaying a huge amount of anger and frustration if the judge was afraid of being slapped in the face!
We can be too nice in our prayers – a niceness that blocks us from really coming face to face with the Living God and discovering that he loves it when we wrestle with him in complete naked honesty. Indeed, this pounding on God’s door is absolutely necessary for our spiritual growth. God is not fooled by our nice safe prayers – but we are blinded by them.
Remember the story of Jacob where Jacob wrestled with God in the form of an angel in the desert? He wrestled through the night and he wouldn’t let go until God blessed him. God not only blessed Jacob but he gave him a new Name: Israel. Before the wrestling match, Jacob would not have been ready to hear his true Name. Jacob was too full of himself. I’m not saying he was an arrogant or egotistical man. He may have been but when I say ‘full of himself’ I mean that even though he was afraid and in danger, he was still depending on his own thinking, ability, might and power to handle his circumstances. During the wrestling match, God dislocated Jacob’s hip but then he blessed and gave him a new Name, one that expressed everything God was calling him to be.
Scripture is full of examples of holy men and women who have dared to speak their minds to God, to desperately ask him why things are the way they are, to demand justice or a change in plan. This has probably confused more than a few Christians down through the ages who have wondered how God could have a plan and then change it just because some ordinary person asked him to. This can bring on an uncomfortable insecurity about the constancy of God’s plans. If we can pray and challenge God’s plan and his ways and then he actually listens to us, is that not giving us too much power? Are we not called to just humbly say, “Thy will be done,” and then meekly shoulder the burden of whatever cross we’ve been given? If we pray, ask for something that’s bad for us and God gives in, isn’t that making us into spoiled brats? Isn’t it dangerous to question God’s directions and plans?
These questions are all based on the idea that God is just like us only he’s the boss. He’s the Dictator, a benevolent one but a dictator none-the-less, and wrestling with a dictator has never been perceived as a smart idea. Lightening bolts and punishment may be involved. Better to just give in immediately rather than chance offending God. Don’t misunderstand me. Saying, “Thy will be done,” is a beautiful prayer but please note that Jesus prayed that prayer of exquisite submission after struggling mightily with his Father, after asking that the cup be taken away and after sweating blood. Something dynamic and intimate happened between him and the Father that we are not privy to but, whatever it was, it took Jesus to the next level of a love revelation that brought him the strength of grace he required, a renewed vision of what was at stake and the courage to do what needed to be done to bring us all home. Thank God he wrestled and was not the least bit concerned that he would offend his Father.
Listen. If you ever seem to change God’s mind about anything it’s because that was his whole plan in the first place and he wanted you to engage in the only kind of relationship dialog that could ever change the mind of anyone: Questions. Honesty to the point of being utterly naked. Spilling the guts. Laying it all out on the floor until there is nothing left to hide. Refusing to walk away until there’s resolution or revolution. Not being silent just because you’re afraid of being wrong or in case the other will get mad at you. Waiting and listening without fear.
It’s messy all right. The blood and guts all over the floor will be all yours but the difference between doing this with God as opposed to doing it with another person is that God gently and lovingly cleanses the blood and guts and puts them all back in right order and then he heals the wounds and gives you a new Name and a new way of walking.
Don’t just be O.K. with asking God nicely for things or answers. Get right in there and wrestle with him. Challenge him. Question him. Honestly lay out your fears and frustrations. It’s the only way to learn who he really is because if you are like the insistent widow and you keep at it, he will respond by revealing his nature and showing you aspects of himself you never suspected were there. He reveals himself to those who want to know him so badly that they’re willing to struggle through the night for that ultimate blessing. He wants us to wrestle through the darkness with desire because that’s how his real face becomes planted deeply in our hearts. I cannot tell you how many people pray without looking God in the face because they are so convinced that what they will see in his face is disassociation, condemnation, disappointment and sadness. What is actually there is joyful love and fierce desire. No one can desire God as much as he desires us.
There have no doubt been times in your life when God has answered a prayer of yours after a not particularly challenging struggle. Think back on all the prayers he has quickly answered in your life - so many little prayers prayed, answered and forgotten. But the ones that really moved you forward in your spirit in a way you could never have done yourself were those prayers prayed through the night in great anguish, prayers where you cried out in distress or prayers that were prayed for so long that you thought God had forgotten you. These are the kind of prayers that transform us and bring us to a new understanding of who he is and who we are.
Don’t lose heart. Go ahead and wrestle with God, the same God that Jacob and Jesus wrestled with. Then get ready to be dislocated…
blessed…
and renamed.
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