And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of man be lifted up, that whoever believes in him may have eternal life." For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God sent the Son into the world, not to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him. He who believes in him is not condemned; he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.
And this is the judgment, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.
For every one who does evil hates the light, and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. But he who does what is true comes to the light, that it may be clearly seen that his deeds have been wrought in God.
(Readings will be different for Christian initiation: Second Scrutiny.)
We have had our house on the market for six months now. What this means is that for six months I have been trying to keep the house immaculate just in case we get a call that someone wants to see it. It’s very interesting but the more I clean and tidy, the more I see things that, to my critical eye, need to be attended to. Sometimes I feel completely overwhelmed and sometimes I get so discouraged thinking about how nothing stays clean and nothing stays tidy. And I don’t have children at home!
It gets to a point where I have to speak sternly to myself. These unclean areas that seem so obvious to me are only obvious because I have spent way too much time going over my home with an ultra critical eye. Most people coming into the house would never even see these little areas and even if they were seen, they would change nobody’s impression of the house because the house really is in excellent shape. My critical eye does nothing except distort my perception and drive me crazy.
Maybe some of you would relate more to the “what I see in my mirror” syndrome. You wake up one morning and there is a pimple right in the middle of your chin. Every time you pass a mirror your eyes immediately glom onto the problem spot and to you the blemish is the most obvious thing in the world. You might as well have a potato stapled to your chin. You kind of know it’s the last thing anyone else is going to notice but you can’t keep your eyes away from it.
In the spiritual life, this overly critical eye is called “scruples” or seeing sin where there is none or feeling a fault is critical when it’s not serious at all. Most people have at least one little corner of their beings where they view themselves with an overly critical eye and the more they look at what’s wrong and the more they try to clean themselves up, the more they see things that are all wrong. They begin to believe that if it’s so obvious to them it must be obvious and terribly offensive to God. Even confessing it to a priest in reconciliation and being assured that they are not in sin is not reassuring. Doubts linger. Fear builds. Maybe the priest didn’t understand what they said. Maybe he’s too lenient. There is no release or relief.
Scruples are like an addiction to seeing sin where there is none and believing in the perceived sin more than in the love and saving power of the Lord. And there is an underlying hope that if one spends more time seeing one’s own sin, God might be pleased because at least one isn’t glorifying one’s own goodness.
Sunday’s gospel is great news for all Christians but especially for those who suffer from scruples, even little scruples. “For God sent the Son into the world, not to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him. She who believes in him is not condemned…”
The reason you initially began to notice your inner faults is what saves you. You believed in the Son of God. You came to the Light. You are a willing member of the body of Christ and your desire to live in faith and follow Christ is a desire that is born of that Light. You have not chosen evil and darkness over the Light and the Truth.
Certainly we have faults and failings and it is because we have chosen the Light that we desire to have clean hearts and not be pulled down by real sin. But be careful!! An unbalanced focus on what is wrong with you means less time spent in the healing light of Jesus. Satan would never be able to convince you at this point to walk away from God but if he can get you spending more time with your faults than with the God who loves you unconditionally, he will have scored a minor victory, and there are many good people who have lost sight of the goodness of Jesus and his saving power and have walked away.
When you go to Mass this weekend, listen closely to the second reading or read it before hand. Ephesians 2: 4-10. It is a beautiful passage. One thing it says is, “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not of your own doing; it is the gift of God.”
Thank the Lord for his wondrous gift! It is free. It is precious. Make sure you spend much time contemplating this awesome gift.
There is something else that needs to be addressed here. Every one of us knows at least one close person who has chosen not to be a follower of Christ. It could be a spouse, a family member, an adult child or a close friend. That doesn’t necessarily mean they have chosen evil and darkness. Many of these people are very good people. They are honest and kind; they have inner integrity, are generous and try to do the right thing according to the dictates of their conscience. If these people have chosen attributes of the Light to guide them in their lives, they have unknowingly chosen Jesus. They just don’t know him by name yet. Oh yes, they may have definitely heard of Jesus and know about Jesus but it’s the intimacy of his name that they have either never experienced or have forgotten about. People rarely reject Jesus…they reject what they think they know about him. The two are vastly different! Of course, we pray for these people because it is the ultimate desire that everyone, including ourselves, come to know and love the true Christ.
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