March 29, 5th Sunday in Lent

John 12: 20-33

20 Among those who went up to worship at the festival were some Greeks. 21They came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, and said to him, ‘Sir, we wish to see Jesus.’ 22Philip went and told Andrew; then Andrew and Philip went and told Jesus. 23Jesus answered them, ‘The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. 24Very truly, I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. 25Those who love their life lose it, and those who hate their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.

26Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there will my servant be also. Whoever serves me, the Father will honor.

27 ‘Now my soul is troubled. And what should I say—“Father, save me from this hour”? No, it is for this reason that I have come to this hour. 28Father, glorify your name.’

Then a voice came from heaven, ‘I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.’

29The crowd standing there heard it and said that it was thunder. Others said, ‘An angel has spoken to him.’ 30Jesus answered, ‘This voice has come for your sake, not for mine. 31Now is the judgment of this world; now the ruler of this world will be driven out. 32And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.’ 33He said this to indicate the kind of death he was to die.

In this Gospel, Jesus says, “Those who love their life lose it, and those who hate their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” I have always found it a wee bit of a shock to the spiritual system when Jesus uses the word ‘hate’ as he does a few times in the gospels. I wanted to know what he really might have meant by hate so I looked up the Aramaic word for hate. Turns out that there are several and the one that makes the most sense to me in the context of Jesus’ teaching is the word “sna”. You can pronounce that however you want as, funnily enough, I don’t speak Aramaic. Sna means, “To put to one side or set aside.”

“Those who hold on to their life lose it and those who set their own life to one side will gain eternal life.” Now that sounds more like the Jesus I know.

My friends John* and Maria* have 6 children between the approximate ages of 13 and 6 months. It had been literally years since they had been out together alone on a “date”. They decided to go out one evening, not without some trepidation, never having left the kids on their own. John left it to Maria to decide where they would go. When it came time to leave John asked Maria where they were going and she just said, “You’ll see.” Armed with their cell phone in case of an emergency, they drove down the long driveway and at the bottom Maria said “Turn around and go half way back up the driveway.” John did as he was instructed and when he neared the half way mark at a point where they could just see the house, Maria told him to pull over and park. Then she brought out a thermos of hot chocolate and some snacks and there on the side of the driveway they had their “date.” To both of them it was a wonderful date. They weren’t anxious about the kids at home. It wasn’t expensive. And, best of all, they had a precious quiet space to talk and be with each other without interruption. (*Names have been changed)


John and Maria probably look forward very much to the day when they can easily go out and take in a dinner and a movie or go off for a weekend on their own. John told me he would love to get into photography but there is no time right now. No doubt, Maria has hobbies or activities she has not enjoyed since the first child came along. They are not atypical parents. Any couple who has one child or more knows that when children come along, adult needs and desires and self satisfaction are often set aside in order to deal with the job of raising and providing for children. In fact, I would say that any good mother could run circles around most saints when it comes to dieing to self like the grain of wheat and setting one’s life aside for the sake of the good of others, namely her children – the “much fruit” of her and her husband’s life.

Yet mothers generally don’t see the holiness of what they do on a daily basis. Perhaps this is because all good mothers do what they do. But why would that diminish recognition of the holiness of their actions?

Perhaps it’s a misperception of what holiness means. Holiness means, “Set aside for God – consecrated to God.” Every Catholic mom that I know is serious about her faith and about raising her children to love God. How much more consecrated can one be? Holiness as it pertains to us doesn’t mean perfect. Think of a chipped and blemished clay cup. If a priest takes that cup and blesses it and sets it aside to hold the blood of Christ at the Eucharist, that cup becomes holy – set aside for a consecrated purpose. It is its intended use that makes it holy, not its state of perfection.

Whether you have children or not, if you have committed yourself to the Lord and desire to do his will, your life is a Consecrated Life. If you have spent years at university studying for a career, you have foregone certain pleasures and desires to do so. If you have to work outside the home for a living, you have no doubt sacrificed desires in order to do this. If you have brought children into the world you have made a commitment to lay your life down for sake of your children.

It is hard to ascribe holiness to a life that’s full of pressure, schedules and deadlines or a life that’s immersed in dirty diapers and mounds of laundry, endless meals and chaotic noise. There is a romantic idea of a holy life, a term that brings to mind glowing saints praying and contemplating in lonely cells. Yes, Religious give up much to answer the call to their vocation - but so do you. It is time we started seeing marriage and raising a family as a holy vocation equal to that of the Religious vocation. It is time we began to respect deeply the single working mother. It is time we stood in awe of the woman who never married and has led a life dedicated to the Lord while living in the world and supporting herself. There is no hierarchy of holiness in the Kingdom. Everyone committed to the Lord sacrifices and dies to self and struggles with growth and prayer and following the will of God. A Religious has different struggles, but not better ones.

I have to tell you that I am often overcome by a sense of immense awe and holy respect when I hear of a mom working through a round of sickness in her children while being sick herself or when I see a student refusing to miss Mass or offers her time to something like St. Vincent de Paul in spite of deadlines and looming exams or when I know a woman has worked at a job for years and would love to retire but needs to bring in money to provide for her family. I see grains of wheat falling to the ground and dieing. I see lives and personal desires being set aside. I see it all the time – and so does the Lord.

Holiness abounds in the people of God and I am so blessed to witness it. It makes me want to weep with gratitude sometimes for what women set aside in order to bring life to others and in order to make sure the Lord is a part of her life. When I witness this holiness I turn to the Father and I say, “Look at that Father. Isn’t that beautiful?” and he says to me, “It fills my heart. I know what she has given up for me and I love her for it.”

“Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there will my servant be also. Whoever serves me, the Father will honor.”

If you are ever wondering in your weariness where Jesus is, look around. He is right beside you. You are right in his presence as his servant. And you are honored in the Father’s eyes.

Believe it.