Rekindling The Flickering Flame

Matthew 23: 1-12
 
Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples, ‘The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses’ seat; therefore, do whatever they teach you and follow it; but do not do as they do, for they do not practise what they teach. They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on the shoulders of others; but they themselves are unwilling to lift a finger to move them. They do all their deeds to be seen by others; for they make their phylacteries broad and their fringes long. They love to have the place of honour at banquets and the best seats in the synagogues, and to be greeted with respect in the market-places, and to have people call them rabbi. But you are not to be called rabbi, for you have one teacher, and you are all students. And call no one your father on earth, for you have one Father - the one in heaven. Nor are you to be called instructors, for you have one instructor, the Messiah. The greatest among you will be your servant. All who exalt themselves will be humbled, and all who humble themselves will be exalted.
 
Many years ago, I attended a conference in Banff also attended by all the Liturgical experts of the Canadian Catholic Church. At that time the phrase “good liturgy” was being tossed around by anyone who had anything to do with liturgy and I began to notice that although everyone seemed to agree that good liturgy was important, no one really had a clear definition of what good liturgy was. My thinking was that we should be able to explain liturgy simply and easily – otherwise something beautiful had become much too complex. So, I decided I was going to approach each one of these well-known leaders and ask them if they could describe in 25 words or less what good liturgy was.

It turned out that this was not an easy task because none of them seemed too keen on hobnobbing with the common folk. At the breaks they would huddle together in earnest discussion. I just stood there at the edge of their groups until they noticed me and then I asked my question. They would kind of look at me and then look at each other in discomfort. One fellow finally said, “Well...uh...it's all in the books. Read our books.” After I asked my question a few times I noticed this nondescript little man watching me. He was quiet and was present each time I approached a group. Finally he came up to me and said, “I overheard you asking those guys about good liturgy. It's a good question. Let me introduce myself...” His name was Frank Henderson and most people who had anything to do with liturgy at that time or in some years to come would probably have heard his name. He was the editor of and a major contributor to The National Bulletin on Liturgy, a publication most churches subscribed to and one that all the Liturgy experts would have contributed to regularly. Frank adopted me for the weekend and sat with me at every liturgical celebration as we discussed liturgy, what it was, what it's purpose was and where the challenges were. We continued our discussion by correspondence after the weekend was over. Frank was not just the editor of that publication; he was also an oncologist with a busy practice. And he was a humble man.

Around that time I learned a heck of a lot about liturgy. I probably remember some of it, too. However, what had the most impact on me was this man who didn't consider himself too important or too busy to make himself available to someone with an interest in learning. Liturgical knowledge wasn't Frank's biggest gift to me. He gave me face and affirmed my worth. It was a gracious gift from a kind man who had no need to advertise his status to define his own value.

Status. Jesus was castigating the scribes and Pharisees for their desire for status. He wasn't so much saying that titles like 'rabbi', 'teacher' or 'father' were bad in themselves; he was saying that seeking these titles for the status they conferred was terribly wrong. Status seeking is born of egotistical self-love and the consequences are often heavy. Usually the ones who suffer these consequences are those who have no status at all, for as Jesus said, one of the habits of status seekers is to “tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on the shoulders of others.” It's as if having denied themselves the humble and simple joy of being a small one in the Kingdom, they found it difficult to allow others the same joy. C.S. Lewis said, "In the midst of a world of light and love, of song and feast and dance, Lucifer could find nothing to think of more interesting than his own prestige."

Status. It's a subtle temptation and sometimes it pulls us in ever so deceptively. What can start out with a good motivation to do something worthwhile for others can end up as a personal exercise in just maintaining the position. Status feels good. It feels excellent when others depend on us, admire us and respect our skills. It's satisfying...for a while. And then it's not. Then we need to find something else to give us status.  Admiration and approval is addictive. Power is habit-forming. "Badness is only spoiled goodness."  said Lewis. We all need to constantly be on guard against the subtle lure of status.

What Jesus said in this week's Gospel would have shocked all the people who were listening, not just the scribes and Pharisees. To all of them, 'long tassels and broad phylacteries' were signs of God's blessing and approval. Jesus was confronting hundreds of years of an ingrained spiritual culture as he tried to convey the truth that the values of God's Kingdom were completely different from the ones they had grown up believing in. And you know what? He still hasn't totally succeeded in convincing us, his people, that the Kingdom does not thrive on the same values and principles as those of the world. I almost didn't approach those groups of liturgical experts because I felt they were in a higher echelon and were too prestigious to have someone like me bother them. I was applying worldly standards to judge who was important and who wasn't. The sad thing was that they seemed to agree with me.

God bases his whole Kingdom value system on love. That means that unless love is the foundation, we are building on sand. God does not call us or the church to be effective like a corporation has to be effective. Really. In terms of worldly standards, love is the most inefficient way of doing anything. It's not logical, it's not quantifiable, it doesn't make money and it can feel like a waste of time. If you advertise it, it loses its power. You can't wear it to make yourself part of an identifiable group. You can't legislate it or charge for it. You can't put it in a box and label it or copyright it. It's often not a winning proposition. You can't analyze its trends or make an app for it. You can't download it and so far, it hasn't gone viral. Pity.

The standard of love means that the heart of the person right in front of you is more important than the mission statement. It means that accepting a brother or sister unconditionally has more value than making sure people see you stringently applying the law – or see you doing anything that gives you status. It means being totally fine if someone else gets the respect and recognition for something you did. We talk about how love is so important but we've lost the urgency and the understanding of why Jesus castigated the scribes and Pharisees the way he did. They had traded knowledge of love for ostentatious almsgiving, long blue tassels and showy prayer habits. While they inscribed the greatest commandment on a piece of parchment and bound it conspicuously to their heads and arms, they had lost the inscription on their hearts. Their hearts had turned to stone and their spirituality had turned into form and show.

If we all wake up and actively turn back to love, if we recognize love as a real power and embrace it as more than an ideal, if we let go of our pride, our personal goals and opinions, if we try to root out all that is within us that strives for recognition, approval and status, if we realize that love is, as Jesus said, what it all hangs on and if we start practicing the law of love with one person at a time, we will be astounded at the life and growth that will flourish around us.

Teilhard de Chardin said it wonderfully:

“Someday, after we have mastered the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love. Then, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.”

In the Kingdom of God, playing with fire is not only allowed, it's mandatory.

The Third Element

Matthew 22: 34-40 

When the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together, and one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. ‘Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?’ He said to him, ‘ “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.” This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: “You shall love your neighbour as yourself.” On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.’

In the time of Christ, all Jews agreed that the greatest commandment was the Shema: “Hear, O Israel: The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might.” In Deuteronomy, God commanded the Israelites to memorize these words, teach them to their children and bind the words on their hands, foreheads and doorposts. Jesus would have learned this scripture as soon as he could talk. However, there was disagreement about what the second greatest commandment was. Ultra conservative Jews, led by a scholar named Shammai, believed it was “Keep the Sabbath.” Jews who were less strict about the letter of the law and more in tune with the spirit of the law would have answered as Jesus did: “You shall love your neighbour as yourself.” The lawyer questioning Jesus was, among other things, probably trying to discover which school of thought or what yoke Jesus ascribed to. Hillel the Elder was a famous Jewish scholar in the time of Jesus and when someone asked him for a concise summary of Judaism, he reputedly replied, “What you hate for yourself, do not do to your neighbor. This is the whole law; the rest is commentary.” Jesus was obviously familiar with Hillel.

We are all good with the command to love God with everything we've got and we all agree that the Golden Rule is an excellent rule to live by. But I believe our thinking gets a little cloudy when we get to “as you love yourself.” I will bet you anything that if you pressed most people to define that part of the commandment, they would admit that they never assumed it meant that God commanded us to love ourselves. They would most likely say that it means we are self-serving and that God wants us to put that energy into serving others instead of ourselves. Fair enough. There certainly are people who could use a little redistribution of their 'service energy'. But, you know, most people I talk to and listen to don't have that problem. They love God and try to show that love through service to others. Their problem is that they don't love themselves at all.

If Jesus immediately knew what he considered the greatest and the second greatest commandments, we have to assume that he lived those words. We know he loved his Father with all his heart, soul and mind and we know the dramatic and far-reaching consequences of his love for others but there is a question that is never discussed much. Did he love himself?

Somehow, I just can't see Jesus going to prayer and belittling himself before his Abba. We know Jesus was without sin but according to some of the Jewish leaders at the time and according to common interpretations of the law, he was a major sinner. As he was growing and developing as a teenager and a young man, how much did he have to struggle with accepted definitions of the law as opposed to his inner understanding of the heart of the law and the heart of his God? What finally led him to know that who he was, what he did and what he taught was not sinful? Was it intellectual knowledge of all 623 of God's laws or was it the intimate knowledge of how loved he was? When he began his public ministry, was he able to teach, heal, set free, create something out of nothing and raise the dead just because he intellectually knew the greatest commandment was to love his God or was it because he had experienced first hand the incredible love his Abba had for him and saw himself through the Father's eyes?

Jesus loved himself completely. That's not very comfortable for us. Many sources have taught us that self-love is selfish love. Often self-love actually is selfish love when it is not thoroughly grounded in a love relationship with God, a relationship that draws one to seek him with heart, soul and mind. Many people can't conceive of a self-love of the kind that flows from deep relationship because they have not been told it is possible to completely love themselves without falling into the sin of selfishness and egotism. There is a common feeling that it's much safer to show God how aware you are of all your failings and inadequacies than to thank him joyfully "that I am fearfully and wonderfully made." (Psalm 139:14)

Jesus' teachings are whole teachings that lead us to the best possible way to live the spiritual life. If egocentricity has us wrapped up in self-love and then we try to love others the way we love ourselves, our love will not be healthy nor very effective. Our love for God would also be limited because our thoughts would always keep coming back to how God is responding or not responding to our wants and needs while trying to figure out if we have done enough to earn God's love. Egocentric self-love sees a relationship in terms of “Quid Pro Quo” or “This for that” - an equal exchange of goods or services. There is a tendency for the ego to say to God, “I did that for you so I expect you to do this for me.” I doubt if that's the kind of self-love Jesus meant when he said we should love God and love our neighbors as we love ourselves.

When Jesus said to love others as you love yourself, I believe he was speaking of the kind of love he had for himself: a respectful love, a love that acknowledged the wonder of God's creation and intention, a love that allowed him to be fully in the presence of his Father without fear or condemnation. He loved his God with abandon and he knew intimately the love God had for him. Not only did he know it but he accepted it and revelled in it so much that he just had to share it with the people. He loved God's people so much because, through his experience of God's love for him, he knew the value and beauty of each person he met. In loving others and beholding them as marvels of God's creation who were loved unconditionally by his Father, he would fall in love even more with his God. He dwelled within a dynamic circle of eternal delight and from that ever flowing delight came a river of powerful compassion toward all of God's creatures. The circle of God's love is a creative powerhouse.

God calls us to that circle and calls us to participate in the power of his creative love. Jesus said, “Love one another as I have loved you.” Jesus doesn't call us to hazy reflections or cheap imitations; he calls us to the real thing. He calls us to fall in love with the Father, with one another and with ourselves.

If two parts of the circle are present but the third is not, it's a lopsided circle and it's more difficult to experience full joy. Sadly, many people's circles are missing that vital third element of knowing that God is in love with them. This is a knowledge that goes beyond catechism lessons and beyond the theology books. It's a knowledge of the heart. If the Father is perfect love and he loves you, how can you not love what the Father loves?

When you know that God is in love with you...

...you love being with him, walking with him and listening to him. Who doesn't enjoy being in the company of their Beloved?

...you don't consider yourself perfect or sinless. You know you need healing for many sins and failures but joy accompanies this knowledge because you also know God desires to heal you and that he will heal you. Instead of shouldering the unbearable burden of your inadequacies and struggling to change yourself, you walk with freedom and joy in the light of your God who will love you into change and growth. There's a reason Reconciliation is called a celebration.

...you love others in a different way. Your love is not patronizing or forced or given because it's expected. Because you know God delights in you, you are able to see the immense beauty, value and worth of others and you treat them accordingly with respect and even amazement. Because you know God's compassion in your life, you are able to bring forgiveness and true compassion to others as well as receive the forgiveness and compassion of others.

Love of God, love of others, love of self: the full circle of Beloved Life. But it's hard to feel 'beloved' if you don't let yourself 'be loved'.

Try it and see.

Go And Do Likewise

Matthew 22: 15-21
 
 Then the Pharisees went and plotted to entrap him in what he said. So they sent their disciples to him, along with the Herodians, saying, ‘Teacher, we know that you are sincere, and teach the way of God in accordance with truth, and show deference to no one; for you do not regard people with partiality. Tell us, then, what you think. Is it lawful to pay taxes to the emperor, or not?’ But Jesus, aware of their malice, said, ‘Why are you putting me to the test, you hypocrites? Show me the coin used for the tax.’ And they brought him a denarius. Then he said to them, ‘Whose head is this, and whose title?’ They answered, ‘The emperor’s.’ Then he said to them, ‘Give therefore to the emperor the things that are the emperor’s, and to God the things that are God’s.’
 
This is a Gospel passage in which Jesus is not just smart, he is brilliant. His brilliance has to do with the complex trap the Pharisees planned and sent their disciples to execute. It has to do with how Jesus immediately saw the layers within the trap and neatly sidestepped all of them. There is far more to this passage than just a question of whether Jesus supported civil obedience and taxes, a very hot topic in Israel at that time. The underlying issues involved in this passage are interesting in their complexity but not really 'food for blog'. Not my blog, anyway.

What stood out to me, however, was Jesus' immediate response to the ones who were challenging him. The Pharisees had sent their disciples because they figured that if they came and put the question to Jesus, he would recognize who they were and be alerted to their scheming. They wanted Jesus to relax and say what he really thought but Jesus knew exactly what was going on. He could read minds and hearts like they were open books. He could see through flattery and pretenses of innocence. He knew when antagonistic people were in his presence.

Question: Did Jesus love the scribes and Pharisees who were challenging him and trying to trap him? Did he love the ones he knew were just waiting for him to make a mistake so they could crucify him? Answer: Of course he did. He died on that cross for them as well. He loved them deeply and yearned that they would allow him to soften their hearts. He wished so badly that they could know his Father's love and be freed from their greed and malicious behavior. But he also had an inner awareness of who could and who could not receive him.

Jesus had the gift of knowledge and insight that came from a relationship with the Father. He could read people and he immediately knew their inner thoughts, intentions and motivations. He could tell if someone had even the tiniest spark of spiritual desire within them. Isaiah said, “...a bruised reed he will not break, and a dimly burning wick he will not quench.” But Jesus was also given the knowledge of when the light had gone out completely or when the the love of power, status and riches had eradicated all love for God. He knew when it wasn't time to fan the embers. When he discerned a heart that had locked itself tight against his love, he did not waste time being accommodating or trying to reason with the person.

Jesus could have engaged any one of those Pharisees in a full on Talmudic debate and he could have won with no difficulty. They would have just hated him even more. He could have treated them with kindness and mercy. They would have crucified him anyway. He could have taken each one aside and pointed out every wound and every desire they had ever had that led them to a place of such hardness of heart. Their pride would have denied it all and they would have looked even harder for evidence against him.

Jesus didn't seek them out. They came to him. They sought him out to lay their traps and try to find fault but Jesus knew their hearts and he didn't spend time trying to bring them around. There were too many other people who needed him, wanted him and were ripe for the Kingdom. There were so many others who thirsted for his teachings and desperately needed his healing touch and his love. When the Pharisees or the elders came around to question him, he answered their questions but he always got straight to the heart of the matter, exposed their hidden intentions, said what he had to say and walked away.

I wonder what Jesus would have thought of the question, “What's the Christian thing to do?” There seem to be two main common assumptions when it comes to that question. The first one is the assumption that the Christian thing to do is to always put up with the garbage, always give in and always try to do the most loving thing – and there are plenty of scriptures to support this assumption. The second assumption is based on the belief that natural negative impulses and strong reactions are justified by the scriptures where Jesus showed anger or Jesus got upset with injustice or where Jesus put the Pharisees in their place.

I think Jesus would shake his head sadly at both assumptions. If we studied what Jesus constantly did so that we could define 'the Christian thing to do', we would discover that Jesus didn't have an agenda. He simply listened to his Father. He was so in tune with his God and had such an intimate relationship with his Father that his understanding of what God required of him in any situation was instantaneous. Jesus didn't act out of impulsive emotional responses nor was he saddled by a simplistic generalized ethos of what it means to 'be a Christian'. He wasn't just making it up as he went along but he and the Father were definitely creatively responding very appropriately and powerfully to every challenge, conflict and need as they presented themselves.

In John 5: 19 and 30, Jesus says ‘Very truly, I tell you, the Son can do nothing on his own, but only what he sees the Father doing; for whatever the Father does, the Son does likewise. The Father loves the Son and shows him all that he himself is doing.” and “I can do nothing on my own.” He did not heal unless he saw the Father healing. He did not teach unless he saw the Father teaching. No knowledge or miracle came from him alone and there was nothing he said to the antagonistic Pharisees that did not first come from the Father. His Father's voice was his delight, his shield, his fortress and his only guidance – and it should be ours as well.

When in doubt, the safest thing to do is love. You can't go too far wrong even though you may find yourself in a time-consuming, heart-rending, no-win situation with someone who is more likely to grind you down than change their ways. What you really need to do is get close to the Lord. Develop an intimate relationship with him. Fall in love with your Father and become familiar with his voice so that when it comes time to discern how to respond to the people in your life who are anything from challenging to downright abusive, your whole desire is to know what God sees is appropriate to the situation and for the person you're dealing with. God may call you to selfless love or call you to walk away. He may call you to be completely honest and to set firm boundaries or he may call you to tolerance. He might call you to strongly point out an injustice or he might tell you to walk softly for a time. 

Ask for the gift of insight into the hearts you're dealing with and an understanding of the Lord's heart. Whatever he calls you to do, he will provide the grace to do it. Understand that you will never be called to resentment or revenge and be very wary if you think he is calling you to angry confrontation. I would check that one out with a spiritual mentor - several times! So much destruction can come out of unleashed rage erroneously labeled 'righteous anger'. Respectful confrontation is one thing but angry confrontation can cause wounds that are terribly difficult to heal – not only in the one you confront but in yourself as well. It's a two edged sword.

The main thing is not to assume that God always expects you to act in one certain way. He will appreciate your efforts to act in love but he will appreciate it even more if you go to him and ask for his perspective and his direction. Pray and listen – and then pray and listen some more. Seek him without assuming you know the answer. It's difficult to become familiar with the voice of the Lord if all you can hear is your own mind telling you, “If you were a real Christian, you would...” It takes time to be able to let go of preconceived ideas so that you can differentiate between your voice and God's voice. No, it's not easy. But guess what? It took Jesus 30 years.

 Grow into a relationship with the Father. It's the 'Christian thing to do'.

Robes Required

 Matthew 22: 1-14
Once more Jesus spoke to them in parables, saying: ‘The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who gave a wedding banquet for his son. He sent his slaves to call those who had been invited to the wedding banquet, but they would not come. Again he sent other slaves, saying, “Tell those who have been invited: Look, I have prepared my dinner, my oxen and my fat calves have been slaughtered, and everything is ready; come to the wedding banquet.” But they made light of it and went away, one to his farm, another to his business, while the rest seized his slaves, maltreated them, and killed them. The king was enraged. He sent his troops, destroyed those murderers, and burned their city. Then he said to his slaves, “The wedding is ready, but those invited were not worthy. Go therefore into the main streets, and invite everyone you find to the wedding banquet.” Those slaves went out into the streets and gathered all whom they found, both good and bad; so the wedding hall was filled with guests.
‘But when the king came in to see the guests, he noticed a man there who was not wearing a wedding robe, and he said to him, “Friend, how did you get in here without a wedding robe?” And he was speechless. Then the king said to the attendants, “Bind him hand and foot, and throw him into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.” For many are called, but few are chosen.’

Go ahead and speak your mind, Jesus. Don't hold back.

Jesus certainly let the Jewish leadership know that he was on to their intentions to arrest him and kill him and that they were on rocky ground if they persisted in resting on their assumptions that they were the chosen, the elite, the blessed ones of God just because they were born to the Jewish race and faith. These parables were dangerous ones for Jesus to lay before the Jewish elders. I have this amusing image in my head of the disciples standing behind the crowd using mime to indicate that Jesus should shut up. Fingers slashing across throats. Exaggerated pantomiming of zipped lips. Heads deliberately shaking while they silently mouthed, “Stop NOW.” But Jesus knew that there was already a cross with his name on it. Holding back at that point wouldn't gain him any points. Matthew wrote his Gospel for the Jewish people and Matthew related parables that pointed out that Jesus was serious that entrance into the Kingdom was not guaranteed just because someone was born Jewish and had all the right paraphernalia or even performed all the right actions. God looks at the heart not the outward show and it's still the same today. 

What Jesus was saying to the Jews was, “Going to the synagogue doesn't make you a good Jew anymore than standing in a barn makes you a donkey.” (Modern translation: Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.) No wonder those leaders were out to get him. 

Then Jesus finishes off the parable with a somewhat obscure and alarming addition where the king orders his servants to bind up a guest and throw him into the darkness just because the guest had no wedding robe. Just before that, scripture says the king sent his servants to round up anyone they could find, good or bad. If the king was so anxious to find guests to come to the wedding banquet, why would he pick on one poor soul who wasn't dressed properly? Maybe the guy was poor and didn't own a wedding garment. Where was the sin?

In the time of Christ, the host provided all male guests who came to a Jewish wedding feast with a white garment called a 'Kittel' to wear into the banquet hall. It looked a little like a bathrobe and it had no pockets. The robe was white to signify unity with the bride. It had no pockets to symbolize the act of marrying for love not for what material possessions could be gained by marrying the bridegroom. For a guest to enter into the banquet hall with no robe on was completely inexcusable and utterly rude. No wonder the guest was speechless. He had been caught out and he had no defense. There is also a possibility that his intention was to take advantage of the all the food and wine available, an act the pocketless robe would have hindered.

So, now another hard question faces us: how often do we go to Mass, the great celebration feast, without our wedding garment? What would that look like in our attitudes and our expectations?

The wedding garment that the host provided for the guests was white so that they could show their unity with the bride who also wore white. She wore white to signify purity. Our wedding garment was given to us at baptism where Christ clothed us in himself and in dignity but it is completely possible for any one of us to show up at the feast with that wedding garment hidden away. If there is no inner intention of or desire for unity with the bride of Christ or if we come to receive and not to give, the wedding garment has been left in a closet somewhere. Here are a few ways we can come to the feast inappropriately attired:

• When we instigate or take part in any talk or actions that could bring wounds or division to the community, the bride of Christ – or even hurt to just one member of the body – we are refusing to wear our robes. Disagreement within the body doesn't necessarily mean disunity. It's how we work it out with each other in respect and love that shows unity with the bride's garment. We should be wearing the full robes of integrity, peace, mercy, wisdom, understanding, humility, gentleness, patience, faith... wait, I'm describing the fruit of the Kingdom that Jesus referred to in last week's Gospel. Interesting how all these things weave themselves together, isn't it?

• When we come to get, not give, we are not donning our pocketless robe. In last week's blog I spoke of the trap of wanting to possess the vineyard instead of simply being servants within it, dependent on the landowner's generosity. It is so easy for us to begin valuing and guarding our placement and position at the feast rather than simply appreciating the goodness of the host. We start making sure that we're getting what we feel is owed to us and that no one else is getting more than they deserve.

• We all have times when we go to Mass for our own spiritual benefit. If we are not open to interacting much with those around us or we go just to 'fulfill an obligation' and to receive our weekly merit badge for Mass attendance instead of being there because we are a royal priesthood called to serve God and one another, we have misplaced our pocketless robes. Remember, the lack of pockets symbolizes a relationship built on love, on what one can give not on what one can get.

A white robe is a great equalizer. When we recognize that everyone is wearing exactly the same garment as ourselves, it's not as easy to categorize and dismiss others. Nobody is too young, too old, too new, too poor, too rich, too ignorant, too knowledgeable, too insignificant or too important; everyone is simply a cherished invited guest at the feast participating in a celebration of joy, united with the bride and with one another. 

White is not only a symbol of purity; in some cultures, white signifies death. At the wedding banquet, donning our white robes is a kind of death to self-importance. It says “I am no more important or powerful or needed than you. We are both here for no other reason than that the King and his Son invited us to come. They opened their doors and their storehouse and sought us out of the highways and by-ways to come and be a part of the celebration. We are here because the King wants us, not because we have a right.”

A wedding feast is the celebration of a love relationship. By feasting with the bride, the groom, the king and all the other invited guests, we affirm that love is the foundation of a holy union and of holy unity. We see the bride and the bridegroom gaze into each others eyes and behold the joy lighting up their faces. We know that in the married life there will be challenges, struggles, wounds and hardship and that these messy times are going to affect all of us because of our unity with them. But we all need to keep returning to the feast, keep returning to the love exchange and keep remembering that it is love that keeps us all afloat. You can have good rules, great programs, strong disciplines and cherished traditions and many children but if love has been forgotten or lost, it is a cold and empty house.

The banquet is ready, the guests are arriving, the music is playing, the bread is broken and the wine is flowing. Let's go to the feast.

But first, if you'll excuse me for a moment, I'm just going to go find my wedding garment, make sure it's clean - and check it for pockets.