The Reply

The Gospel this week is John 3: 14-21 where Jesus speaks with Nicodemus.
Last July, I posted a reflection titled “The Letter” which was a fictional letter from Joseph of Arimathea to Nicodemus. This is the reply:

Dear Joseph,

I have to admit that when you wrote exhorting me to go see Jesus of Nazareth, everything inside me rebelled at the thought. I was deeply concerned for you and for your standing within the temple if it ever became known that you had been won over by the Nazarene. I was also angry that you would encourage me to follow the same path of utter folly.

You have heard by now that this Jesus came to the temple and drove the moneychangers and the sellers of sacrificial animals out of the temple courts. The people were terrified because he was acting like a madman. When Annas, Caiaphas and the rest of us who were in the temple came running out to see what the commotion was, we saw Jesus, whip in hand, in the center of great confusion. When he saw us, he cried out,

“My Father’s house is a house of prayer!”

Then he looked directly at me, Joseph, and it was as if my heart was cut open and he could see everything within it. Everything. I looked around at the dust, the milling animals and the chaos of scattered coins and overturned booths and my eyes suddenly saw the jagged ugliness of something we have taken for granted for years. I looked at Annas and Caiaphas and was shocked at what I could see in their eyes. It wasn’t just anger, Joseph, it was hideous frustrated lust. Suddenly I knew, just from the look in their eyes, that the profits of the moneychangers and sacrificial animals weren’t going for the upkeep of the temple. Caiaphas and Annas were lining their pockets with the money of the poor. Money that was meant for G_d was being used to keep them in luxury. My disgust was overwhelming.

It came to me then, Joseph, that I had to see this Jesus. I had to talk to him. I had no idea what I would say or what I would ask. I just had a burning desire to speak with him one on one.

I’m not a courageous man. I found out where he was staying and I went in the dead of night, the hood of my cloak over my head so no one would recognize me. If Annas, especially, knew what was in my mind I shudder to think what he would do. He is a hard man but I didn’t realize how evil he is until that moment on the temple steps.

When I got to the place where Jesus was staying, it was dark and quiet within and I didn’t know what to do. Had I thought about the lateness of the hour? No, I hadn’t. All I had thought about was seeing him without being seen. I stood on the street thinking I should just head back home but my heart was pounding and the desire to see him was too much to ignore. What to do? Wake him up? Wake them all up?

Then I heard a quiet voice coming from above me, “Peace be with you, Nicodemus. I’ve been waiting for you.”

I looked up and there he was, relaxed and leaning over the parapet of the roof. “The family has gone to sleep,” he said.  “Come up the outer steps and join me, brother. You’d better hurry before someone sees you.” I couldn’t clearly see his face but his voice told me he was smiling at my furtiveness.

I quickly went up to the roof and when I got there he was sitting at a small wooden table. On the table were a loaf of bread, a jar of wine and two cups. He really was expecting me, Joseph! He indicated the other cushion and invited me to sit with him.

“Eat and drink, Nicodemus. I know you are hungry and your thirst is great,” he said softly as he broke the bread and poured the wine.  “Ask what you have come to ask.”

We talked for hours, Joseph. Too much was said to write in one letter and much of it was bewildering. However, the words that confused me the most were ‘born again’. I had no idea what he meant so I challenged him but he said, “‘Very truly, I tell you, we speak of what we know and testify to what we have seen; yet you do not receive our testimony. If I have told you about earthly things and you do not believe, how can you believe if I tell you about heavenly things?”

When he said that, I wondered whom he was talking about. He said we speak and we testify. Who did he mean by ‘we’? I was about to ask him when the light changed. I know it was night, Joseph, but I swear, the light changed. Or it appeared. Or it was always there but I never noticed it until then. At that moment light was all around us and standing just behind Jesus were two Beings. If I had to describe them, I’d say one was like Wind and one was like Fire but they were much more than that and words are inadequate to describe them. I had to drop to my knees from the force of the overpowering love that was surrounding the three of them. I began to weep. I wept with tearing grief, absolute joy and for the sheer beauty and authority of that love. I knew never wanted to be without it again.

Then Jesus stood and the two Beings stood beside him, one on either side. I still don’t know if Jesus could see them but his own face was like lightening and his eyes were like flames as he delved deep into my heart again. It was as if he was purging it with fire. It hurt so bad but felt so right. He didn’t seem to be speaking aloud but his voice filled my spirit, “For God so loved the world, Nicodemus, that he gave his only begotten Son so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life.”  When he said that, the love flowing between the three became so intense I could hardly bear it.

“Lord! You are my Lord!” I cried through my tears. “I will openly follow you wherever you go. Everyone can know that you are my master. Let me never hide from the truth again! Let me be with you always, Jesus.”

He pulled me to my feet and when I wiped my eyes on my sleeve the light was gone. It was just an ordinary rooftop in the middle of the night. He put his hand on my shoulder and said, “No, Nicodemus, now is not the time to come with me. Go back to the temple. I know that isn’t where you want to be now because you have seen that some people have loved darkness rather than light because their deeds are evil. Those who do evil can’t stand me, brother. They hate my light and are deeply afraid their deeds will be exposed and the people will see them for who they really are.

   Go back to the temple, Nicodemus. It is still the house of my Father even though there are some who have perverted his truth and live to serve themselves. Serve me there. Let the people see there is goodness in the midst of evil. Be a servant of the light you have seen here and a voice of righteousness in the darkness. There will come a time when I will have great need of you – both you and Joseph of Arimathea.  Tell Joseph you have spoken to me and that I said a time will come when you will both give me shelter and a place to rest my weary head.

   The sun will be rising soon. You’d better go quickly, my brother.” As I turned reluctantly to go, he stopped me, laid his hands on my head and said, “My courage and grace goes with you. I will always be with you. We will always be with you.”

And now, Joseph, it is without any qualms, with great humility and utter joy that I say to you: you were right. The Sun has risen in our midst. The Light has come and we knew it not. You and I are blessed beyond all telling. I look forward to the time when you and I will be able to give him shelter. I wonder when that will be?

Peace be to you and your house, my brother. May his light continue to fill you and illuminate your path. I greatly look forward to our next meeting as brothers of the Son of G_d.

Your servant in him, (or in them!)

Nicodemus

P.S. I feel like I’ve been born again…