Going On To Smaller and Better Things

Sunday, October 18, 2009
Mark 10: 35-45

James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came forward to him and said to him, ‘Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you.’ 36And he said to them, ‘What is it you want me to do for you?’ 37And they said to him, ‘Grant us to sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your glory.’ 38But Jesus said to them, ‘You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I drink, or be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?’ 39They replied, ‘We are able.’ Then Jesus said to them, ‘The cup that I drink you will drink; and with the baptism with which I am baptized, you will be baptized; 40but to sit at my right hand or at my left is not mine to grant, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared.’

41 When the ten heard this, they began to be angry with James and John. 42So Jesus called them and said to them, ‘You know that among the Gentiles those whom they recognize as their rulers lord it over them, and their great ones are tyrants over them. 43But it is not so among you; but whoever wishes to become great among you must be your servant, 44and whoever wishes to be first among you must be slave of all. 45For the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many.’

The great spiritual thinker, writer, and monk Charles de Foucauld (1889-1916) wrote, “Jesus has so diligently searched for the lowest place that it would be very difficult for anyone to tear it from Him…”

That made a deep impression on me when I read it many years ago. As a stay at home mother, it was quite a challenge to maintain any sense that what I was doing was valuable in the world’s eyes. Whenever someone with a professional career asked me what I did and I answered, “I’m a stay at home mom,” there would be varying reactions. The most common one was the person would change the subject quickly as if they weren’t quite sure what to do with that information. I may have gotten the same reaction if I had said, “I’m a stripper.” I don’t know. The other reaction was over reacting with kindness. I actually ran into this kind of response very recently when a female real estate agent asked me what I was retired from. I answered, “For about the first 20 years of my life I was a stay at home mom and then…” Way too loudly, as if she was talking to someone a little simple minded, she interrupted and said, “Well, THAT’S a career!” Her super patronizing tone of voice made me answer a bit more sharply than I normally would have. I said, “I know it’s a career. Did you notice I didn’t say ‘just a stay at home mom’?” Then she changed the subject quickly – as if I had said I had been a stripper.

You don’t have to be a stay at home mom to experience the humiliation of being subtly categorized as someone who isn’t of great value to society or to the workplace or to a community. Anyone who has had a slightly arrogant and insensitive boss or teacher has most likely felt the sting of a statement that inferred “ you are not as valuable, influential, highly paid, knowledgeable or powerful as me”. It hurts because it is human nature to long for recognition and approval. We have a deep longing to know we are valuable to and needed by others.

James and John had exactly this same human need. They probably felt the sting of being referred to as “just fishermen”. They were looking for positions of influence and power because, being human and not altogether on top of what Jesus was teaching them, they still thought that the way to ease that sting of being categorized was to find a higher place to situate themselves. What Jesus understood, and they didn’t, was that even if they did find higher and more respected positions, they would soon have to spend most of their time maintaining and defending those positions. Look at how the other disciples reacted to James and John asking for higher positions. They began to be angry and resentful. If Jesus hadn’t cut them all off at the pass the others would have asked why James and John should have such elevated positions and then demanded equality or at least the opportunity to apply for the same positions. Then James and John would have felt a necessity to prove that they were best suited for the positions which could have meant showing how others were not suited, perhaps subtly pointing out the inadequacies and faults of the others…you can see where this is going.

I guarantee there would have been no jostling for positions and no angry resentment if James and John had gone up to Jesus and said, “Jesus, we would like to be the ones who will always be responsible for digging the latrines when we’re on the road.” There was no glory, power or honor for latrine diggers but no one would have been resenting them either or trying to find ways to oust them from their positions and no one would have been ignoring them as pay back for being uppity.

However, the action of digging latrines - or washing dishes, changing poopy diapers, picking up garbage or any other way of serving the family or community - doesn’t necessarily make you a saint even though you won’t have a lot of competition for the job. What creates holiness within these lowest of the low positions is love, not recognition or even any particular result.

Many years ago, I observed a common experience in myself and other people who went on retreats or events such as World Youth Day, Cursillo or other spiritual conferences. We would go with excitement and high hopes for a life changing experience and would often have a wonderful encounter with the Spirit but coming back home would be very difficult. We would come home feeling joyfully changed and inspired but the reality of everyday life was like a cold shower and the euphoria would wear off very quickly. Those who had not been on the retreat couldn’t share in the experiences we’d had and nothing at home had changed. Children were still challenging, jobs were still boring and life was still what it was before the retreat.

I thought and pondered on how a person could enjoy something like a retreat and come home changed in a way that wouldn’t shrivel as soon as reality hit. I read the words I quoted above about Jesus choosing the lowest place and thought that perhaps this was where the key was. I was slated to help at a retreat and was one of the ones to give a talk. I decided that I wouldn’t spend any time looking for great spiritual experiences but would spend all my time looking for and volunteering to do the least desirable tasks. I cleaned a lot of toilets, cleared dishes, stayed behind to clean up rooms and kept a sharp eye out for the smallest needs of those on retreat.

It was the most blessed retreat I had ever been on and the most wonderful thing was that hitting the reality of home did not shatter the inner connectedness I felt with the Lord. My spiritual joy was based on service and it felt natural to continue in that mode when I got home. Instead of coming home and hitting a brick wall, I felt as though I had been deeply strengthened in the very quality that was needed in my role as a mother and a member of my parish community.

St. Theresa of the Child Jesus was 24 years old when she died. She never left the monastery but decided that whatever she did, no matter how trivial, even something as small as picking a pin up off the floor, she would do it with great love. She was eventually made a Doctor of the Catholic Church and was named Patroness of the Missions.

Do small ignominious things with Great Love. You’ll never have to defend your position, no one will try to usurp your power or resent you and when everybody is looking at someone or something much more flashy, God will change the world through you.

But you need to realize that it’s hard to develop a lifestyle of doing small things with great love unless you know you are a small one who is greatly loved…