Back To Love

Mark 7: 1-8, 14-15, 21-23

 Now when the Pharisees and some of the scribes who had come from Jerusalem gathered around him, they noticed that some of his disciples were eating with defiled hands, that is, without washing them. For the Pharisees, and all the Jews, do not eat unless they thoroughly wash their hands, thus observing the tradition of the elders; and they do not eat anything from the market unless they wash it; and there are also many other traditions that they observe, the washing of cups, pots, and bronze kettles. So the Pharisees and the scribes asked him, ‘Why do your disciples not live according to the tradition of the elders, but eat with defiled hands?’ He said to them, ‘Isaiah prophesied rightly about you hypocrites, as it is written, “This people honors me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me; in vain do they worship me, teaching human precepts as doctrines.” You abandon the commandment of God and hold to human tradition.’ Then he called the crowd again and said to them, ‘Listen to me, all of you, and understand: there is nothing outside a person that by going in can defile, but the things that come out are what defile.’ For it is from within, from the human heart, that evil intentions come: fornication, theft, murder, adultery, avarice, wickedness, deceit, licentiousness, envy, slander, pride, folly. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.’

They were in love. Everything they did was colored by thoughts of each other and by a desire to be in communion with the other. He would bring her flowers for no reason. She would cook his favorite foods. During the day they would text loving messages to each other. They composed songs, searched out gifts, took each other on mystery excursions and read books to each other. Each one longed to know more about the other and every discovery was a treasure.

And then they got married.

Life got demanding. Children were born, finances became a struggle, days dissolved into chaotic exhausting routine and moments of intimacy became rare. If they thought of each other during the day, the thoughts were often tinged resentment over lack of help and understanding or they were worrying thoughts about obligations that needed to be met. From their days of first love’s communion, they maintained a few habitual modes of communication: a quick kiss hello or goodbye and gifts on anniversaries and birthdays but even these communications often lacked forethought or a deep intention to please. Mostly they were done because they were expected.

This was their marriage. They went through the motions the best they could but very often their commitment to each other was defined by a list of obligations fulfilled: “I take out the garbage, I look after the kids, I cook the meals, I go to work, I maintain the home/vehicle, I wash your laundry, I shovel the driveway…” What began as a loving relationship full of communion and communication rooted in mutual love was eroded into a daily grind of two people going through the motions without ever looking at the other’s heart or trying to discern what the other truly needed or desired. Even actions that once had real relationship significance to both of them had become obligatory, done because “We always kiss in the morning,” or “We always eat out on our anniversary.”

The scribes and Pharisees constantly challenged Jesus because he and his disciples didn’t always follow the traditions of the elders. The traditions or obligations spoken about in this scripture were not laws handed down by Moses but were practices added over the years. When one of these traditions began, it could very well have been started by someone who really had a deep and loving relationship with God and wanted to show his or her love by being extra diligent in a matter of purification or sacrifice. It could have sprung out of intimate communion and been a living gift of communication between God and one of his beloved. It doesn’t take a lot of imagination to see how others may have adopted this extra ritual because the one who began it was a beautiful and holy person and others mistakenly assumed it was the action that caused the holiness rather than the love relationship from which the action sprang. Then, as generations continued the practice, little by little the love and grace of the action was lost until it became an empty ritual, something that was expected but not really understood. The communion within it became totally lost.

In other words, just as it is easy to lose the effervescence of first love and continue in a relationship with actions that are devoid of any kind of communion, it is very easy to fill our spiritual lives with various traditions, prayers and actions that are empty of true communion with God. That doesn’t mean these traditions are in any way bad, useless or meaningless; it simply means that, just as in any good marriage or relationship, we need to stop, review all the things we do and ask ourselves if we are depending on obligatory actions to justify and define us. Do we just keep on performing certain actions because that’s what our parents did or that’s what our community always does? We especially need to spend time discerning whether we rely on our actions to justify ourselves spiritually while judging others who don’t seem to be quite as diligent as we are. It is right at that point that Jesus had issues with the Pharisees and scribes. He didn’t mind if they wanted to wash their hands all day long but where washing and purification became more important than compassion and love and when all the washing being done was hiding hearts that were judgmental, self righteous, territorial, resentful and lacking in a true relationship with the Father, that’s where Jesus put his foot down.

No outward action has value or significance in itself and outward actions can actually mislead us into thinking our relationship with God is just fine. “That is not communion, people;” Jesus was saying, “that is not a love relationship with my Father. That is a relationship with your own outward righteousness, your own opinions, your own ego and your own external image. You have made the huge mistake of thinking that what you do is what makes you pleasing to the Father.” To that mistaken understanding, God says, “Their hearts are far from me.”

The married couple who kept up with their outward obligations but allowed the communion of love to wither away could also say of one another, “His heart is far from me.” or “Her heart is far from me.” There is sadness, loneliness and grief in that statement. The relationship has been defiled, not by evil but by carelessness. While outward appearances were maintained, their inner hearts were allowed to become lax and turned inward on themselves. Desert desolation set in. The same thing happens in the spiritual life.

I have a feeling this is what Jesus meant whenever he said, “Repent.” He meant, “Turn around, come back to the beginning, back to your first love. Come back to me with all your heart.”

Repent and…

 “You shall no more be termed Forsaken, and your land shall no more be termed Desolate; but you shall be called ‘My Delight Is in Her’, and your land Married; for the Lord delights in you and your land shall be married. For as a young man marries a young woman, so shall your builder marry you, and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.”(Isaiah 62: 4,5)

Your Beloved awaits.